The Soundtrack of Life

I. Love. Music!!

Music is... PASSION! For better or worse, every lyric ever written is backed with emotion, desire, and LIFE. It has the power to pull you in by lifting you up, dragging you down, and everything in between.

Music is... NOSTALGIA! One verse, one lyric or even one note can send you thru time. It's magical! Maybe it's "For You I Will" that will always remind you of one of your favorite Spring Breaks with your High School Sweetheart, "Rich Girl" (the original!) that takes you back to 3rd Grade and learning to reggae dance with your friends, or "Glamorous" that makes you laugh about when your best friend was first becoming your best friend. Music's instantaneous time travel ability is light years ahead of science!

Music is... ROMANCE! A sweet melody sets the tone, changes your heart rate and heightens your senses.

Music is... FUN! Pump up a nasty beat and you're READY to go out, have fun and rock the night away.

Music is... AN ESCAPE! Blast your speakers and drown out the world, take a break from your challenges, over power the little voices and just be.

Music is... PENSIVE! A powerful verse can lead you to an epiphany about your life, bring you straight to tears, or empower you to make a change.

Music is... THE SOUNDTRACK OF LIFE! Use it to get excited, evoke emotions you're struggling with, remember, or soothe you.

If there was one talent I could possess that I surely don't, it would be to sing & play guitar! It's such a productive, AWESOME way of channeling your passion while reaching out to others. My *wide* selection of tunes is my way of making up for it... Whether it be Hip Hop, R&B, Pop, Rock, Reggae, Country, Frank Sinatra, Contemporary Christian, Kids Songs or anything in between (other than screaming metal - I just can't do it), I'll listen and get lost in it. That's my way of saying a HUGE THANK YOU to all of the incredible artists out there... It is the soundtrack to my life in so many ways...

Go see any live band. Lounge in lawn seating at a concert. Dance all night to a great DJ. Use your music app to listen and sleep. ...those are my favorite ways to use music as the soundtrack in my life...

How is music the soundtrack of your life?

Life is a Series of Jedi Mind Tricks...

Life is a series of Jedi Mind Tricks...  you have COMPLETE control over who you are, what you do, where life takes you and the quality of your life.  Sure, things happen along the way that divert your course, but it’s true what they say: life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  Your ability (or inability) to perform the Jedi Mind Trick on yourself either makes or breaks your happiness and satisfaction in life.

HOW TO USE THE JEDI MIND TRICK: Ready for this extremely profound thought?! Think positive!!  Instead of trying to persuade others with the Jedi Mind Trick, use it to persuade yourself!  Believe it or not, YOU are the only person who has complete and utter control over who you are and how happy you are.

Ga’head, roll your eyes if you will, but unless you’ve genuinely tried it, you can’t say that it doesn’t work.  Keep in mind, I’m a NYer.  Cynicism and negativity (aka “realistic views”) were my natural born tendencies.  I understand how after-school-special it sounds to actually be giving the advice “think good thoughts and good things will happen”.  That’s not the message; plenty of things have happened in my life that negate the wistfulness of “good things happen to good people”.  The message is to truly look for the good in every situation and adjust your attitude and response to it. 

Your ability to think positively will greatly improve YOUR emotional health, alleviate your stress and make even the toughest of life’s situations at least a little bit easier to handle.

LIVING AS A JEDI: The very second the little voice in your head starts whining, stop it!  Literally over power the thought by saying (in your head or out loud – up to you how crazy you’d like to appear in the moment ;) ), “The world isn’t imploding around me!”.  Take a deep breath and a step back from the situation and genuinely decide what the worst possible outcome is of the situation.  Then find the solution that allows you to truly think “YES, I can handle this and it will be okay”.  I promise you, your decision of how to handle a situation is not going to make the sky come crashing down on you!!  The worst thing that can happen is that you decide you also don’t like the new outcome of how you chose to handle it... then ya know what you do?  Find a new solution and try again!  Don’t let it take over you or your life.  Remember, at the end of the day you are the only person who can make yourself feel or think anything.  Remind yourself over and over that you are not going to let this person or this situation take away from you.

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “No, there are things that happen that I can’t handle” or “I can’t help how I feel when something happens to me”.  If you’re still thinking that then you’re right, you can’t handle it.  However, allow this thought to penetrate your brain and truly consider it: continuing to think like that IS what is preventing you from being able to handle it.

REALITY OF JEDI LIVING: Don’t expect to see an immediate impact of your “yes thinking”.  Trying to change your thinking isn’t going to happen overnight and you’re not going to feel the impact it has on you after an hour of trying to power through a challenging situation.  Give yourself the opportunity to see what it can do for you though.  Keep trying it over and over and OVER again!  Every time you stop trying and you let the negative thoughts take over in a situation you are letting the situation win.  Focusing on living like a Jedi will help YOU be the winner...

Besides, people enjoy being in the company of winners but nobody likes a whiner!! ;)

The "Tend or Befriend" Phenomenon

The gap between Mars and Venus expands... Biologically speaking, men and women deal with stress in very different ways. Maybe that's not shocking to you, but there's new research to support it. Women tend to override the well-known "Fight or Flight" stress response with a new theory called "Tend or Befriend". (The linked article has more information on the theory, research and researchers)

Think about it in every day terms...

MEN, when you're stressed out and done with the arguing portion of the event, you isolate yourselves. That may be by sitting in front of the tv or heading to a local bar and sitting solo. Rarely do you see a stressed out woman anchoring a bar stool after an argument...

WOMEN, when we get stressed, we either clean and organize the house or call a friend to talk about it or to distract us. The research shows that estrogen increases the hormone Oxytocin. (That's the hormone that calms you and eases stress.) Makes sense that we seek out other estrogen-dominant individuals to get a grip on life again, huh?

I find this new research so intriguing because it has so many implications and applications if you're willing to open your eyes and accept the reality of more gender-based differences.

For starters, it affirms every instinct I've ever had about how vital my female friendships are to my life!! Thinking back on every challenging, sad or frustrating event in my life, I have pushed through and come out on top because of the amazing women I've been privileged to have in my life... Those women include my mother, grandmother, aunt and the various friends I've made along the way. On the other hand, the things in my life I've had the most difficulty overcoming were those when one of those important women were taken away or in some way or other the cause of my stress. Friends, as if you don't know already (even if solely based on my "friend" tattoo), you play an integral role in my sanity!! ...and you're fun as hell!! ;) I don't know what I'd do without my FABULOUS girls!! <3 (You know who you are!)

This research also helps me to realize that it's okay when the men in my life need to get away for a little while when they're stressed. It's okay when they don't want to talk about it. We deal with things differently and as long as we communicate enough to know each ohter's boundaries and triggers we'll keep getting along just fine!

Tend or Befriend... Who knew?! ;)

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, in a faraway land—okay, enough of that!  This blog won’t be a series of fairy tales.  My life has never been a fairy tale so there isn’t one to tell.  WAIT!  ...before you go running off with the impression that this is going to be an overly dramatic, soul-sucking blog, take a chance and trust me when I say, it’s not.  I’m not that person either.  I know what you’re thinking (creepy, right??), “so who are you then??”.  Great question!  I have a much better answer to that question than I ever have before...

I am...

PASSIONATE.  When I have an opinion about something, everyone knows it.  On the other side of the coin, apathy is my worst enemy.  I’m a native New Yorker and also Italian... it comes with the territory!

OBSERVANT.  I’ve always been interested in how people think, why they make certain decisions and what motivates them.  Basically that equates to me being an avid people watcher for as long as I can remember.  Then I went to college, took some psych courses and learned the names for social phenomenon’s I’ve always had a hunch about.

LAID BACK.  Seems contradictory that someone who is so passionate can also be laid back... I assure you it’s possible.  I learned a long time ago that the small things in life aren’t worth stressing over!  Especially the things beyond your control like a cancelled flight, bad service in a restaurant or a long line for a rollercoaster.  Chill out people!

POSITIVE.  Almost all the time, I'll see the positive side of a situation or cirumstance.  I can't go through life with a black cloud over my head and let tragic or frustrating events take over my life.  I am very rarely a person who feels or acts defeated, victimized or helpless.  I am a firm believer that whether you say you can or you can't, you're right!  Create your own path and determine your own destiny and attitude by accepting the consequences of your choices and moving through life with your head held high.

A FRIEND.  I take great pride in the fact that for as long as I can remember, everyone has come to me for everything... even when I was probably too young to be listening to adults talk about the things they chose to share with me.  I also take great pride in not being the sugar-coating, bright-side-of-the-moon friend.  If you ask my opinion and I am close enough to you, I am going to give you an honest, blunt opinion... even if it may be hard for you to hear.  True friends will always do you this courtesy.

I’ve been wanting to blog for a long time.  Well, I’ve wanted to write and share my ideas, perspectives and life experience for a long time.  Blogging is the modern day solution since I’ll probably never get around to writing the proverbial book.

I’ve experienced a lot of life, learned a lot about people and have discovered how to find true happiness and satisfaction in life...

Welcome to my blog and to my brain... wear a helmet, and laugh at life along with me!