Something. MUST! Be. Done.

My heart shattered on Friday, 12/14/12... TWENTY tiny, unlived lives were taken at the hands of an unstable lunatic whose name I've refused to learn.  SIX courageous adults won't ring in the new year with their families because they tried to protect the children they dedicated their lives to.  That's. Not. Okay.

I'll admit it... typically, I epitomize complacent American.  I voice my opinion on things I'm truly passionate about, but only on Facebook and Twitter, and to my closest friends.  I'll watch a protest on TV and research it online and think "good for them", but I've never even genuinely considered attending one.  I jump in on trending topics and commiserate about the tragedies that strike our country... then I go about my day with the "it won't happen here" mentality and move on with my life.  

I'd like to think I'm a person of action because I am in my personal life.  I've accepted that I'm not a person of action in the "1 person can change the world" mentality.  A psychopath claiming children's lives in a place where kids should be the safest changed that... I'm writing this post in hopes that I'm not the only one it changed and that there are enough of us out to there to truly have our voices heard and to make sure that the people who CAN make the changes hear our voices.  Let's honor those 27 people who won't be with their families for Christmas next week by making sure their unthinkable tragedy has purpose.  Something. MUST! Be. Done.

I don't have the answer or know what that "something" is... I do believe that the answer needs to be a multi-faceted approach.  Every factor needs to be taken into consideration and we need to start taking steps to correct the underlying problems.  That means making mental health care more readily available, reevaluating gun control laws to make weapons less available, and adjusting school security to ensure that those children are TRULY protected within those walls.

Let's start with the underlying problem > the people who commit such acts are clearly not in their right minds.  You have to stop and wonder, how does it get to this point? and how did s/he go untreated?  I'm sure there's a story to each one of these people.  Frankly, at this point, I don't care what that story is because we all know how they ended.  I care about the next story.  I care about the other disturbed individuals walking among us that haven't reached their breaking point yet.  They are the ones who need to be helped to prevent tragedies like this from continuing to happen.  Mental Health care needs to be more accessible, more affordable, more SOMETHING.  Saying "take their guns away" is just a bandaid... there are still deranged individuals walking around and finding their ways into schools, malls, movie theathers... and now, an ELEMENTARY school. 

Then the question becomes, how did this guy get into this school?!  I've visited my little cousins at their schools for various events and it was like trying to get into a bank vault!  ...and even though I was frustrated at the moment that I was a few minutes late because I had to run back to my car and grab my ID, I thanked the woman at the desk for keeping my little loves safe.  If I think about it though, there really wasn't much to the security protocol once I was in the building, explained what class party I was there to attend, and produced my license... they asked if I knew where the room was, gave simple directions when I said I didn't, and let me go on my way.  Thankfully, I really was there to attend a multi-cultural pot luck in my Goddaughter's classroom.  What if I had an ulterior motive and decided to use that day and that excuse as my ticket in the door?!  Who would have known?!  Who would have stopped me?!  That thought makes me want to vomit and hire bodyguards to personally protect each one of my little cousins because it really could have been that easy.  ...but maybe I walked through a metal detector and didn't know it.  Or maybe there were hall monitors watching me that I didn't notice.  Oh!  I know - they ran my license number through a computer to make sure I didn't have a record.  Maybe.  Probably not though.

So here's where we're at so far: seriously unstable individuals easily gaining access to an elementary school.  Awesome.  ...definitely not something that has me up and blogging at 4am because I've dreamt about it every night for days.  (You read that sarcastically, right??  If not, now that you know I'm being sarcastic, go back and read that line again... thanks!)

Big issue time --> gun control.  Here's my preface for you: I'm a Liberal.  I'm a Democrat.  I'm a NYer who was raised on diversity before it was politically correct.  With every ounce of my being I believe in Marriage Equality even though I'm not gay, and would have been just as passionate about Civil Rights and I'm not black either.  I'd have been burned at the stake if I lived in any older generation because I take full advantage of my right to free speech, and wear my confidence and independence on my sleeve like a badge of pride (just ask the girls who work for me!).  I like to say I'm Catholic, but I'm really a CAPE Catholic (ya know - Christmas Ashes Palms & Easter).  I do not believe that Islamic people are the root of terrorism - their religion is almost identical to mine and they have just as much of a right to practice it.  I'm a DIE HARD Yankees girl and make that known pretty obnoxiously during baseball season... especially if you happen to be from the city north of NY that shall not be named. ;)  Clearly, I have strong opinions.  I loudly voice them and I OWN them despite opposition with which I'm faced.  Before the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy, I had no opinion on gun control... 

I have no interest in ever owning a gun, but I don't care if someone else wants to.  To each their own, right?  It is one of our rights as Americans... besides, I've been of the mentality that gun laws are to violence as forks are to obesity: guns don't kill people, people kill people -- forks don't make people fat, poor lifestyle choices do.  Remember how I started this post: I used to epitomize complacent American.  In light of this horrific tragedy, it became my obligation as an American, as a person, and as someone whose life has always revolved around children to reassess.  Reassess everything.  In this issue, gun control cannot be ignored and it's ABSOLUTELY time to reassess.

Let's start with the extreme... if I could snap my fingers right now and remove guns from every civilian (aka every American who is not active military or law enforcement), I cannot come up with A SINGLE reason why that would not be okay!  Not a SINGLE reason.  Can you?!  Think about our rights... free speech, free from religious persecution, vote for elected officials.  NONE of those rights, when exercised to their fullest, give individuals direct power take the life of another person.  All of our rights are about us being individuals who can say and do what we want to the extent that we are not infringing on someone else's rights.  The "right" to bear arms is archaic and outdated...

Our forefathers wrote the 2nd Amendment to give their people faith that our new government wouldn't try to rule their lives like Great Britain did during Colonial America.  The right to bear arms meant that they could revolt against their government to be a free state just like all of the colonies revolted to gain our independence.  That reason is null and void.  Even if there were still residual fear that our government would suddenly turn into a dictatorship and we'd need to defend our freedom, how are guns going to keep you free when faced with our military's nuclear weapons?!  The need is obsolete.  The "right" is outdated.  Again, give me one good reason!

In my quest to figure out where I stand on gun control now that it can no longer be ignored in my book, I've been asking this question... asking people to give me one good reason why owning a deadly weapon is a "right".  Here are some reasons I've been given...

I like to hunt. >> Unless hunting is your family's only source of food, this isn't a legitimate reason.  Find a new sport.  Hunt virtually - technology is amazing.  Your fun weekend should not trump a 5 year old's ability to go to school without fear.

For self-defense. >> It is way more statistically likely that someone will either illegally obtain your gun and use it in a violent crime, or that a child will accidentally shoot themselves or someone else than it is that you'll have to use it on an intruder.

It's my right.  I can so I want to. >> (This one is my favorite.)  I don't tolerate temper tantrums from children; I certainly won't entertain one in an adult.  You realize that this argument is exactly the same argument slave owners probably used, right?!  "But we've always had slaves.  They take care of my house and (blah blah blah), and that's what I want!"  Okay, maybe that's an extreme, ridiculous example, but it's really not TOO far off.  In an ideal world, 200 years from now our descendants will be mocking us for ever thinking we needed to have weapons like this around and shake their heads in sadness that it took us SO long and SO MANY horrific tragedies before we learned this obvious lesson.

But let's be realistic... guns won't suddenly be abolished and, again, completely getting rid of them isn't necessarily the answer, nor is it realistic - especially in the short term.  Increased measures on gun control IS realistic though...

To be perfectly honest, I don't even know what the current laws are on obtaining and owning a firearm... I do know this though, guns that are being legally obtained, are being used in violent crimes by the unstable owner, OR someone other than its registered owner and that's where the problems lie.  Maybe the answer is to require an in-depth psychological screening before you can legally obtain a gun, or very strict guidelines on how guns must be secured and stored with SEVERE penalties for violation of such laws.  At least things like this can minimize the number of guns available and accessible and therefore the number of guns used in violent crimes... 

I don't know what the answer is... but Something. MUST! Be. Done.

So here's why I'm ranting about this and here's my hope... It, unfortunately!, took an unthinkable tragedy to snap me out of my complacent American fog and put me into action.  I'm a product of my generation and my "action" consists of this blog.  The only way my 1 voice can make a difference though, is if it spurs other voices to do the same... so join your voice with mine!

You do NOT have to agree with all or any of my ideas for this multi-faceted approach... what you do need to do is let it be known that you agree that SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.  PLEASE feel free share your ideas, your counter opinions, whatever.  But ONLY do so if you are also willing to put your name, location and age with your comment.  Yes, I just turned this blog into a petition... posting a comment implies that you agree that SOMETHING. Must. Be. Done. and that our government needs to take immediate action.  My hope is to get enough comments on this blog and enough traffic to this post that the people who can do something take notice... so comment on this with ANY opinion you'd like, but only if you're also willing to put your name, location and age.  

In order to keep the comments as clean as possible, I will not be responding.  Please know that I'm grateful for your response because you're helping to prove that the average American is NOT okay with this sad trend of tragedies and that those 27 people didn't die in vain... if you want to actually discuss this with me and get a response from me, find me on Twitter (@JENw1n525).

Again, please comment below, share this link, RT the tweet you got the link from... do SOMETHING to spread this around and get as many people as POSSIBLE to comment below so SOMETHING happens.
I appreciate the "likes", RTs, Reblogs and comments on Social Media sites; Please also leave comments HERE so this gets as much traffic and attention as possible.

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To the 6 adults who died protecting those children... you are truly heroic and your actions certainly did not go unnoticed!

To the 20 tiny children... I have no words for you or your shattered families, just this: < 3 because my heart is TRULY with you!

To everyone effected by this tragedy whether directly or not... I'm genuinely sorry it took this event to snap me out of my complacent fog and can only hope I'm not the only one this impacted by it.

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UPDATE > 12/21/12: The NRA held a press conference addressing the Newtown Tragedy
Transcript: http://www.scribd.com/doc/117616563/Transcript-PDF

I have many pros/cons to this "armed guards at every school" proposal...

The Con Extreme: Thinking back to a post-911 Manhattan, it did NOT make me feel safer to see armed military personnel with INTENSE guns I can't even name in Penn Station.  It scared the LIFE out of me and made me want to stay the hell out of my city that I love so much.  It was a very uneasy, terrifying moment.  With that experience in mind, I can't imagine that the presence of armed guards is going to make our kids or parents feel safer.  To take it to a further extreme, it puts even more weapons out in society and potentially accessible to someone who is still battling a major mental health issue AND can still get into the school building...

The Pro Extreme: I follow the logic; we protect many high profile places and/or people with guns.  Those are people who are typically targets (i.e.: incredibly powerful politicians) or are in places that provoke violence such as huge sporting events since there is so much passion combined with alcohol.  Those are very big scale situations that are much more challenging to control so larger precautions (in the way of armed officers) are the current solution.

Regardless... this doesn't address the underlying issue!  There are still crazy people who (1) think it's okay to do things like this (and need mental health care) and (2) can get into the schools (because the security protocol aren't effective).  So putting armed guards at schools is yet another bandaid to this MAJOR challenge...

This is America.  It's not a society that should ever have to have armed guards on every street and in every public arena... protecting our schools should be a TOP priority right now; once that's achieved, there is still the matter of these people committing these acts in other places like malls and movie theaters...

So again I ask, why is owning a gun a "right"?!  I've yet to get anything REMOTELY CLOSE to an answer or attempt at justification of this in our modern society... 

I AM a New Yorker!

I am certain that for the rest of my life I will remember where I was, how I felt, and being glued to the news for 37 hours on September 11th, 2011... I will never forget the first time I crossed a bridge and looked to my skyline in hopes that it wasn't true and that the towers would still be there and seeing smoke in their place.  I will always remember the oxymoron of heart break and simultaneous pride for our tenacity in seeing the light beams commemorating the WTC.  I will always cherish the days when everyone was a little more courteous to one another walking the streets... especially if you were below Canal.  I will always cringe at remembering the eerie silence surrounding every aspect of Ground Zero for almost a year afterward.  Above all, however, I will never forget what it felt like to show the world that New Yorkers can naturally pull together and put their heart into it when it counts.  I was never more proud to say that I am a New Yorker than I was after that experience.

Whether you lost a loved one, a part of your city, or a piece of your heart, that day will live in our hearts forever...

It's oddly comforting that I am in my true home this weekend on this monumental anniversary. (Though it's incredibly unsettling to be getting on planes.)  I am grateful to be in a city that will have moments of silence on the radio for all the specific times of that horrible day because my new home won't.  I am remembering... I will always be remembering... and I will always find comfort in this blog post.

Below you will find a poem that I cannot take credit for and unforunately don't know who wrote it.  It does an incredible job, however, of capturing that time and those emotions and is my favorite way of remembering.  <3 Never Forget <3

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I am a New Yorker

I may not live in the five boroughs or on the Island or Upstate

I may live hundreds or thousands of miles away

Or I may live just over the GW Bridge

But I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker

Whatever took me out of New York:

Business, family or hating the cold did not take New York out of me.

My accent may have faded and my pace may have slowed

But I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker

I was raised on Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Rockefeller Plaza,

The Yankees or the Mets

Jones Beach or Rye Beach or one of the beaches on the sound

I know that "THE END" means Montauk.

Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker

When I go on vacation, I never look up

Skyscrapers are something I take for granted

The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty are part of me

Taxis and noise and subways and "get outa heah" don't rattle me

Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker

I was raised on cultural diversity before it was politically correct

I eat Greek food and Italian food, Jewish and Middle Eastern food and Chinese food

Because they are all American food to me.

I don't get mad when people speak other languages in my presence

Because my relatives got to this country via Ellis Island and chose to stay

They were New Yorkers

I am a New Yorker

People who have never been to New York have misunderstood me

My friends and family work in the industries, professions and businesses that benefit all Americans

My firefighters died trying to save New Yorkers and non-New Yorkers

They died trying to save Americans and non-Americans

Because they were New Yorkers.

I am a New Yorker

I feel the pain of my fellow New Yorkers

I mourn the loss of my beautiful city

I feel and dread that New York will never be the same

But then I remember:

I am a New Yorker

And New Yorkers have:

Tenacity, strength and courage way above the norm

Compassion and caring for our fellow citizens

Love and pride in our city, in our state, in our country

Intelligence, experience and education par excellence

Ability, dedication and energy above and beyond

Faith--no matter what religion we practice

Terrorists hit America in its heart

But America's heart still beats strong

Demolish the steel in our buildings, but it doesn't touch the steel in our souls

Hit us in the pocketbook; but we'll parlay what we have left into a fortune

End innocent lives leaving widows and orphans, but we'll take care of them

Because they are New Yorkers

Wherever we live, whatever we do, whoever we are

There are New Yorkers in every state and every city of this nation

We will not abandon our city

We will not abandon our brothers and sisters

We will not abandon the beauty, creativity and diversity that New York represents

Because we are New Yorkers

And we are proud to be New Yorkers

UNITED WE STAND – DIVIDED WE FALL

September 11^th ~ Always in Our Hearts

The Soundtrack of Life

I. Love. Music!!

Music is... PASSION! For better or worse, every lyric ever written is backed with emotion, desire, and LIFE. It has the power to pull you in by lifting you up, dragging you down, and everything in between.

Music is... NOSTALGIA! One verse, one lyric or even one note can send you thru time. It's magical! Maybe it's "For You I Will" that will always remind you of one of your favorite Spring Breaks with your High School Sweetheart, "Rich Girl" (the original!) that takes you back to 3rd Grade and learning to reggae dance with your friends, or "Glamorous" that makes you laugh about when your best friend was first becoming your best friend. Music's instantaneous time travel ability is light years ahead of science!

Music is... ROMANCE! A sweet melody sets the tone, changes your heart rate and heightens your senses.

Music is... FUN! Pump up a nasty beat and you're READY to go out, have fun and rock the night away.

Music is... AN ESCAPE! Blast your speakers and drown out the world, take a break from your challenges, over power the little voices and just be.

Music is... PENSIVE! A powerful verse can lead you to an epiphany about your life, bring you straight to tears, or empower you to make a change.

Music is... THE SOUNDTRACK OF LIFE! Use it to get excited, evoke emotions you're struggling with, remember, or soothe you.

If there was one talent I could possess that I surely don't, it would be to sing & play guitar! It's such a productive, AWESOME way of channeling your passion while reaching out to others. My *wide* selection of tunes is my way of making up for it... Whether it be Hip Hop, R&B, Pop, Rock, Reggae, Country, Frank Sinatra, Contemporary Christian, Kids Songs or anything in between (other than screaming metal - I just can't do it), I'll listen and get lost in it. That's my way of saying a HUGE THANK YOU to all of the incredible artists out there... It is the soundtrack to my life in so many ways...

Go see any live band. Lounge in lawn seating at a concert. Dance all night to a great DJ. Use your music app to listen and sleep. ...those are my favorite ways to use music as the soundtrack in my life...

How is music the soundtrack of your life?

Women are C-RAZY!!

There is no denying the fact that women are C-RAZY!!  I am a woman – I can validly attest to this fact!  In a split second we can go from calm and happy to INSANE!  We can suddenly fly off the handle, jump to irrational conclusions, hold grudges, assault you with our words then smile and hug you.  C-RAZY.

Some of us, however, are better at hiding our crazy and better at keeping it in check to function in the normal world.  Us “calm chicks” can think clearly without letting emotions get too cloudy, have a rational conversation, explain our intentions and expectations and be fun and easy going!

BUT there are plenty of women who are all kinds a’ crazy and do nothing to control it!!  Sometimes, ‘dem b!tches be so crazy, dey don’t even kno!  (It’s times like these when I tap back into my 13 year old ghetto-self. ;)  It felt necessary.)

Don’t be scared!  There is a KEY clue you can look for to know when it’s necessary to bust out the Kevlar vest and RUN in the opposite direction!

(Drum roll please!!!)

C-RAZY Clue #1! -- She doesn’t have true female friends!  Guys, you may be wondering, “well, why is that important?”.  Let me give you some insider information... EVERY woman who has ever and will ever walk this planet has an innate ability to be manipulative, petty and vindictive.  Yes, EVERY woman.  Mother Theresa, Queen Elizabeth and your mother included!  Most of us, however, mature past the point of it being our immediate way of handling a situation and function as rational, logical individuals.  (At least 3 weeks a month!)  Not all of us do though. 

Fortunately... Women also have an innate ability to see these traits in other women.  That means we don’t trust these C-RAZY @$$ b!tches!  We interact civilly and exchange pleasantries when necessary, but we don’t trust them or truly befriend them.  That should send sirens off in your head.  That should help you see that any girl who is lacking true, emotionally invested, honest-to-God female FRIENDS is still – and likely always will be – innately manipulative, petty and vindictive. 

I know, I know, I know... you’re thinking of girls you know right now who don’t have true girl friends who you think are “normal”.  Lemme ask you this... who do you think understands the world of female behavior better guys, us or you??  That’s what I thought! 

Trust me.  Trust our instincts.  RUN from these women!  This is the NUMERO UNO clue that a woman is C-RAZY!!

Ladies, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if you don’t have truly close girl friends, you may be a crazy @$$ b!tch. #justsayin ;) haha

Everyone - be safe out there... it’s c-razy!

Back in the day...

...when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again... (Throwback jam by Ahmad - anyone?!)

Don't worry; I'm not trying to say 29 is old - I'm saying 29 is NOT 23 and there is a HUGE difference in those 6 short years!

At 23... You're an "adult"; you are done with Undergrad, probably working full-time, living on your own (depending on what part of the country you live in and/or your need for independence), and you've learned to truly appreciate the finer aspect of *finally* being over 21! In other words, you think you know it all, you can still party like a rockstar until well after sunrise and somehow still function at work all day without anyone being the wiser. After all, you have a college-kid's enthusiasm for alcohol but are making more money than you ever have before... Besides "you'll sleep when you're dead"! It is one of the most fun, carefree times of your life!!

At 29... You look back at 23 and just laugh. What WERE you thinking?! How did you ever survive?? ...and, more importantly, what happened that you suddenly need 8 hours of sleep again and start hoping to hear last call so you can go home and take those damn shoes off?! God knows you'll never walk barefoot back to Penn ever again!!

You still ...LOVE a fun girls night with an awesome DJ and a dance floor; ...laugh and roll your eyes at every drunk skeeze ball that tries to dance all up on one of you (sometimes the b!tch comes out when they're over the top); ...go crazy when the DJ mixes in 112, old school Mariah or Madonna... And you smile and enjoy EVERY second of it!!!

Until... The new 23 year olds you're surrounded by are suddenly passed buzzed and into full on D-RUNK! That's when you start to remember the less than finer moments of nights like that. The need to be lifted on to a speaker and join the "hoe train" is about 6 years past desirable. In fact, you freeze on the dance floor and watch the obliterated "adult" and just hope that she demonstrates at least a fraction more of self-respect in daytime hours... And that at least one of her friends is keeping an eye on her - and the scivatz who has also frozen to watch, but for very different reasons.

So you close your tab... And will actually remember doing so the next day.

The strange part is... Yes, there's a part of you that misses the carefree debauchery of your early 20s. But more so, you're relieved to be past those years and truly an adult. My 23 year old self would have laughed in my face if she knew I'd be saying this in just 6 short years! Actually, my friends still make a face when they see I've switched over to water or when I turn down the "opportunity" to rally at an after-hours party.

Don't get me wrong... Hanging out with my girls when there's good music, space to dance and good drinks in hand will ALWAYS be a favorite thing of mine. I will continue to have nights where I am absolutely NOT the driver and where I'll be up until sunrise. The difference is, I've finally learned how to have fun in other ways and I don't make plans to be 23 every weekend, for three-nights in a row. Like I've been saying...

There is clearly no need to be almost 30 and in a club that allows kids under 25 to enter!

Life is NOT a Fairy Tale!

Let me just put this out there... life is not a fairy tale.  No, this isn’t an angry single girl post; this is more of a “when life hands you lemons” (made lemonade – with vodka!) post.  You’re shocked I’m sure; I’ve clearly been on “STOP WHINING! JUST HAVE FUN!” rants in my recent posts!

That being said, this post requires an additional preface... (yes, you may call me “Betty Backstory” in this moment!)  When I first started this Blog it was under a pen name.  I did that because I figured eventually I’d get the urge to post about sensitive moments in my life that I have always kept very private.  I can’t decide if I’ve done that because I was protecting myself from potential judgment by others, or if it was to protect my loved ones who will unavoidably be called out.  Either way, I’m over it and ready to continue with my “STOP WHINING! JUST HAVE FUN!” rants by shedding a little light onto why I’m so passionate about it...

NEWS FLASH! The world isn’t imploding around you!  It seems that so many people get stuck in the roundabout of daily life and stress themselves out over little dramatic episodes.  I can’t stand seeing Facebook posts by people who are clearly breathing fire and pissed off at the world because they are stuck in traffic, someone was rude to them or they have to work long hours.  Seriously people, in 50 years, I assure you, each of those events will have ZERO bearing on your life!  Why do you waste your energy flipping out over things you truly have no control over and that truly have no impact on you in the long run?!  It exhausts me just thinking about it...  face facts folks:

Life is not a Fairy Tale!  There are things that happen, however, that can have a significant impact on you in the long run...

Things like:

Your parents being Heroin addicts (in addition to your father’s alcoholism),

Learning about “The Big C” at age 5,

Your parents divorcing when you’re 3,

Spending your childhood going to NA meetings with your mom and little brother (but don’t worry – you’d still go to Saturday night Mass with your Grandfather to balance the scales),

Visiting your father “away at college” in true, cryptic Italian terms (prison for those of you who are scratching your heads),

Having all out wars with your mother’s live-in, alcoholic boyfriend all through your teen years,

Your father suddenly passing away when you were 16,

Watching your seemingly healthy grandma go from diagnosis to funeral in 7 weeks and helping tend to her in the interim,

Regulating your mother’s psychological health from 3,000 miles away...

Seeing things that are burned into your brain, hearing things a child should never hear and becoming an adult in the house at 4 years old. 

Life is not a fairy tale.

But life goes on... You take all of your experiences and you carve your path in life based on them.  You can either learn from the mistakes of others and be the best person you can be despite the hand you were dealt, or you can succumb to the weakness of those around you and follow a similar path.  You have the choice to look for pity from those around you for “what happened to you”, or to use it as fuel to prove to the world that YOU are a strong person who makes their own decisions.

Once something BIG happens in your life, it’s easy to look at something small like a flight delay and brush it off.  You’ve experienced true heart break.  You’ve experienced true trauma.  You know what it’s like to be sent to hell and back.  You can pull on those experiences enough to realize that the little annoyances in life aren’t worth your effort.  You need to conserve that effort for when it’s necessary and when life truly throws you a curve ball.  If you’re one of the fortunate few who haven’t had major hurdles in life, take it from me, you’ll want your energy for those times and you’ll have wished you didn’t expend it on the idiot taking 30 minutes at the ATM.

If you’re lucky... you have people in your life who you’re able to lean on when the proverbial $h!t hits the fan.  They are the people who support you, motivate you and act as a distraction from the insanity.  They play an integral role in helping you chose the path of strength, determination and success.  They aren’t the only key to the equation though... it starts with YOU!  I am lucky.  I have many of these people in my life and I always have. 

Despite the admission above, my mother is one of them – a huge one of them!  She has always been my greatest cheerleader.  (Yes, I clearly felt the need to defend her and clarify her inner greatness despite her past lapse in strength.)

Scary realization!  Most often in the past when I have the intense drive to express my gratitude to my important people, it’s my intuition telling me something is on the horizon.  Like my Ah-MAZING Grandma (“Mom Peggy” who now lives in my heart), I’ve always had a “sense” about things... that’s another story for another day.

The moral of this story is, as this post’s title implies, LIFE IS NOT A FAIRY TALE!  Don’t expect it to be.  You can, however, make your own Fairy Tale and have your own happy existence by letting the little things go... remind yourself that the daily little annoyances are not equivalent to the world collapsing around you.  And if one day the world does collapse around you, find your way out – you can, I promise!

PS: Please note that this post is not an invitation for a series of “Poor Jen” comments/emails.  I’ll never forget where I came from, nor have I ever wished for different circumstances.  Every single experience in my life, for better or worse, has made me who I am, brought me to where I am and will send me where I am going.  I’m not sorry they happened; I don’t need you to be either.  I can definitely appreciate any shock you may be experiencing right now if you're learning this for the first time though... ;)

PS to my PS... in re-reading this I realized I could've implied that I'm not open to any comments/responses to this.  That's not what I meant to imply... I simply meant please refrain from responses with an underlying tone of pity.  It is what it is, ya know? :)

Ah-MAZING People!

There are certain people in the world who lift up your spirits simply by being in their presence...  Hopefully, you know the type of people I’m talking about.  They are, simply put, Ah-MAZING!!!

Ah-MAZING because... their natural energy and positive outlook on life is contagious.  ...their innate warmth radiates from them.  ...they can be serious when needed, but are most often relaxed, happy and laid back.  ...they are genuine, thoughtful and kind in a way that is, unfortunately, rare nowadays.  ...they challenge you to be the best version of yourself.  ...they naturally seek out the good in any situation.  You find yourself naturally gravitating to them when you’re lucky enough to be in their presence because you truly feel metaphorically lighter. 

While you’re with an Ah-MAZING person, you find that you are naturally filled with the same positive energy and warmth.  You laugh more, smile more and stress less.  You are at ease and taking the time to actually enjoy the moments.

If you are an Ah-MAZING person, your ah-mazingness shines through even more when you’re with other ah-mazing people.  You bring it out in one another and gravitate to each other to recharge your batteries, so-to-speak.  It can be so amazing and rejuvenating, that people who are not naturally ah-mazing feel overwhelmed from the positive energy. (Sounds like a whole lotta their problem if you ask me! ;) )

Sadly, there are a lot of people who are... negative, consistently down-trodden, unwaveringly cynical and, frankly, WHINERS.  They always have something to complain about.  Their default mode is “what’s wrong with this situation”.  They will jump at an opportunity to bitch about something, but find it uncomfortable and unnatural to shower someone with genuine, positive praise.  These significantly-less-than-amazing spirits drag you down.  You feel depleted, stressed and snippy, in addition to being physically and emotionally exhausted from being in their presence.  These people take away from you and your greatness.  These are the people that read this post and think “Wow!  Really Jen?!  Can this be cheesier?!”.  And to that I say: “NEXT!”... you can forward this to someone else who will roll their eyes with you because they are probably with you on that negative rung of the ladder.  Leave me out of it.

Wouldn’t it be great if... everyone was an Ah-MAZING individual?

As with everything, you have a choice... you can be selective of who you choose to spend your time with.  You can choose to only be with other ah-mazing spirits and therefore only continuously grow as an ah-mazing spirit, or you can continue to exhaust yourself in the presence of those other people.  What do you choose??

I choose Ah-MAZING!!!  I am blessed to have many of these people in my life!!  And I continue to encounter more and more of them in the incredible TLG community!  (Perhaps there’s a reason we’re all part of the TLG network?? ;) ) 

I always find myself feeling rejuvenated and on a natural high after spending time with my ah-mazing people.  In turn, I do not enjoy feeling depleted, stressed or emotionally exhausted as I do when I’m with those other people.  So let it be known, if you pull people down, only see the negative in life, constantly whine about anything and everything, don’t expect to spend too much time with me!  I am truly a much happier person without that influence!

BE Ah-MAZING!!!  Thank your Ah-MAZING People for brightening up the world – your world! 

I’ve learned a hard lesson the hard way a few times.  That lesson is that you don’t have as much time as you think you do with the ah-mazing people in your life.  I’m sure you’ve heard it before, and you’ll likely hear it again, but that’s because there’s heart-wrenching truth behind it.  Take advantage of the time you DO have and tell your ah-mazing people that they are your ah-mazing people!!  This blog was my way of doing that – today.  I’ll find a new way tomorrow I’m sure...

You know I consider you one of My Ah-MAZING people if I’ve given you clues like this:

I’ve told you at some point that you are one of my favorite people in the world

I randomly seek you out to share funny moments

I text you to say I wish I was with you instead of the Negative Nelly I’m in the presence of at that moment

I’ve sent you emails or cards about something personal we’ve discussed or shared

Or, most obviously, I’ve told you (probably repeatedly) that you’re amazing!!

Regardless of which clue applies, to all of you, thanks for being you!!  I value every moment we get to spend together and always look forward to the next time!