Back in the day...

...when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again... (Throwback jam by Ahmad - anyone?!)

Don't worry; I'm not trying to say 29 is old - I'm saying 29 is NOT 23 and there is a HUGE difference in those 6 short years!

At 23... You're an "adult"; you are done with Undergrad, probably working full-time, living on your own (depending on what part of the country you live in and/or your need for independence), and you've learned to truly appreciate the finer aspect of *finally* being over 21! In other words, you think you know it all, you can still party like a rockstar until well after sunrise and somehow still function at work all day without anyone being the wiser. After all, you have a college-kid's enthusiasm for alcohol but are making more money than you ever have before... Besides "you'll sleep when you're dead"! It is one of the most fun, carefree times of your life!!

At 29... You look back at 23 and just laugh. What WERE you thinking?! How did you ever survive?? ...and, more importantly, what happened that you suddenly need 8 hours of sleep again and start hoping to hear last call so you can go home and take those damn shoes off?! God knows you'll never walk barefoot back to Penn ever again!!

You still ...LOVE a fun girls night with an awesome DJ and a dance floor; ...laugh and roll your eyes at every drunk skeeze ball that tries to dance all up on one of you (sometimes the b!tch comes out when they're over the top); ...go crazy when the DJ mixes in 112, old school Mariah or Madonna... And you smile and enjoy EVERY second of it!!!

Until... The new 23 year olds you're surrounded by are suddenly passed buzzed and into full on D-RUNK! That's when you start to remember the less than finer moments of nights like that. The need to be lifted on to a speaker and join the "hoe train" is about 6 years past desirable. In fact, you freeze on the dance floor and watch the obliterated "adult" and just hope that she demonstrates at least a fraction more of self-respect in daytime hours... And that at least one of her friends is keeping an eye on her - and the scivatz who has also frozen to watch, but for very different reasons.

So you close your tab... And will actually remember doing so the next day.

The strange part is... Yes, there's a part of you that misses the carefree debauchery of your early 20s. But more so, you're relieved to be past those years and truly an adult. My 23 year old self would have laughed in my face if she knew I'd be saying this in just 6 short years! Actually, my friends still make a face when they see I've switched over to water or when I turn down the "opportunity" to rally at an after-hours party.

Don't get me wrong... Hanging out with my girls when there's good music, space to dance and good drinks in hand will ALWAYS be a favorite thing of mine. I will continue to have nights where I am absolutely NOT the driver and where I'll be up until sunrise. The difference is, I've finally learned how to have fun in other ways and I don't make plans to be 23 every weekend, for three-nights in a row. Like I've been saying...

There is clearly no need to be almost 30 and in a club that allows kids under 25 to enter!

Life is a Series of Jedi Mind Tricks...

Life is a series of Jedi Mind Tricks...  you have COMPLETE control over who you are, what you do, where life takes you and the quality of your life.  Sure, things happen along the way that divert your course, but it’s true what they say: life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  Your ability (or inability) to perform the Jedi Mind Trick on yourself either makes or breaks your happiness and satisfaction in life.

HOW TO USE THE JEDI MIND TRICK: Ready for this extremely profound thought?! Think positive!!  Instead of trying to persuade others with the Jedi Mind Trick, use it to persuade yourself!  Believe it or not, YOU are the only person who has complete and utter control over who you are and how happy you are.

Ga’head, roll your eyes if you will, but unless you’ve genuinely tried it, you can’t say that it doesn’t work.  Keep in mind, I’m a NYer.  Cynicism and negativity (aka “realistic views”) were my natural born tendencies.  I understand how after-school-special it sounds to actually be giving the advice “think good thoughts and good things will happen”.  That’s not the message; plenty of things have happened in my life that negate the wistfulness of “good things happen to good people”.  The message is to truly look for the good in every situation and adjust your attitude and response to it. 

Your ability to think positively will greatly improve YOUR emotional health, alleviate your stress and make even the toughest of life’s situations at least a little bit easier to handle.

LIVING AS A JEDI: The very second the little voice in your head starts whining, stop it!  Literally over power the thought by saying (in your head or out loud – up to you how crazy you’d like to appear in the moment ;) ), “The world isn’t imploding around me!”.  Take a deep breath and a step back from the situation and genuinely decide what the worst possible outcome is of the situation.  Then find the solution that allows you to truly think “YES, I can handle this and it will be okay”.  I promise you, your decision of how to handle a situation is not going to make the sky come crashing down on you!!  The worst thing that can happen is that you decide you also don’t like the new outcome of how you chose to handle it... then ya know what you do?  Find a new solution and try again!  Don’t let it take over you or your life.  Remember, at the end of the day you are the only person who can make yourself feel or think anything.  Remind yourself over and over that you are not going to let this person or this situation take away from you.

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “No, there are things that happen that I can’t handle” or “I can’t help how I feel when something happens to me”.  If you’re still thinking that then you’re right, you can’t handle it.  However, allow this thought to penetrate your brain and truly consider it: continuing to think like that IS what is preventing you from being able to handle it.

REALITY OF JEDI LIVING: Don’t expect to see an immediate impact of your “yes thinking”.  Trying to change your thinking isn’t going to happen overnight and you’re not going to feel the impact it has on you after an hour of trying to power through a challenging situation.  Give yourself the opportunity to see what it can do for you though.  Keep trying it over and over and OVER again!  Every time you stop trying and you let the negative thoughts take over in a situation you are letting the situation win.  Focusing on living like a Jedi will help YOU be the winner...

Besides, people enjoy being in the company of winners but nobody likes a whiner!! ;)

"Adults" You Say?

Here's how life goes... You make choices. Based on those choices, things happen. When things happen you either A: like the result or B: don't like the result. Now comes the, evidently, tricky part... You either get to deal with the unwanted consequence or b, you do something to change it. Interestingly enough, secret option c of "bitching about it ad nauseum"  is NOT an option.  A little preliminary whining while you're (efficiently) deciding what to do, sure. That's what friends do, right? Listen to you talk through life's issues and help you make a decision. That's the key tho - making a decision. Refusing to suck it up, accept responsiblity and do something about it, not okay. Capisce? (That's "capeesh" for my non-Italian friends.) ;)

I find that children can understand and abide by this concept, yet I unfortunately know many full grown "adults" who don't.

Ironically, those "adults" have the choice to laugh at this post, deny its validity and continue to behave that way. Then I, in turn, will make the choice to stop having extensive conversations with you. I can think of many fun and productive things I can do with my time than listen to an adult martyr continuously victimize themselves and suck the life out of my day.

So I repeat, deal with your circumstances in a positive, productive manner or take action to change it. I am not the only person who would benefit from this change... You will too. Try it out.